You ended exactly like you started, uncertain and with a little pain. There was a short moment where I thought you could end in a different tone, but I was wrong. I have to confess I was mad because I was going through the similar feelings I had in January but this time, I knew how to handle them. The uncertainty was still there but the way I processed and accepted them was different.
I noticed my own growth and while it didn’t take away the pain, I was calm about it because I knew all the struggles of the year hadn’t been in vain. I was not the same girl that last year cried bitterly for a different year knowing that it would be a slow way to recovery after surgery.
I never imagined how surgery and physical therapy could change you. How they can make you stronger. I knew that fixing my hip through surgery was going to take pain away, but I was hoping for a quick fix no pain after that. Boy was I wrong! I never considered the fear or doing normal everyday things like standing up on my own without crutches or not using them at all. As I faced fear in the face, I noticed my thoughts were crucial in the process. My mind was so used to pain and not fighting that I had to not only re learn how to walk but also re learn how to make my mind strong too.
Pain makes you feel defeated. Therapy shows you that you can get control back. It’s going to be a process but it will lead you somewhere better, it will make you someone better, stronger, more confident.
Thank you for making me stronger, for making me humble, grateful. For showing me that I have a whole team behind me that’s willing to be in the darkest, hardest moments and shower me with encouragement, love, faith and comfort. Thank you for letting me start 2019 with a different vision. A better version of myself.
2019 started just like I wanted last year to start, slow, with time to reflect and be grateful for the battles of the year before. I know that I can’t erase those experiences and I don’t want to. I want to use them as a base to keep growing, to keep dreaming, to keep pushing forward.
Here’s to a 2019 filled with friends, new experiences, better health, more laughs, new hopes and dreams!
